913: Alcoholism Recovery & Dealing with PTSD | New Approaches for Veterans

Unknown Speaker  0:20  
Instead

Brian Nichols  0:28  
of focusing on winning arguments, we're teaching the basic fundamentals of sales and marketing and how we can use them to win in the world of politics, teaching you how to meet people where they're at on the issues they care about. Welcome to the Brian Nichols show.

Wow. Hey there, folks. Brian Nichols here on another fun channel episode of The Brian Nichols show. We're gonna go ahead and jump right into things, because, yes, this

is our weekly interview, and today we are talking about a topic that has popped up here on the show over the past few months, but one more laser focus in terms of solutions, and that is veteran mental health to help me discuss all that and more joining us here on the Brian Nichols show. Johnny Martinez, welcome to the program. How you doing? Man,

Johnny Martinez  1:15  
good brother. Thank you for having me on.

Brian Nichols  1:17  
Absolutely. Good to have you on. Man, good to have you on. And you're talking about a really big problem, an elephant in the room, by the way, we talked about this very big problem with our good buddies, Garrett Biss and Jonathan Phillips. But today, we're not just talking about the problem, Johnny. We're talking about solutions. Because solutions are, at the end of the day, the things people are looking for. They're not just looking to hear their problems validated. They're actually looking for their problems to be solved. And in this world, we're talking about vets who are leaving the combat life heading into civilian life. That's a big transition, and things, frankly, a lot of us in the civilian world will never be able to understand. So before we dig into some of those mental health battles that we are going to articulate from a solution standpoint, Johnny, do the audience a favor before we dig into that. Introduce yourself here the Brian Nichols show. Audience, and why is this an area that you're so so focused on and passionate about?

Johnny Martinez  2:09  
Yeah, yeah. So like you said, I'm Johnny Martinez. I am the host of the warrior healer podcast. I got about 70 episodes in of that, and so that's been going strong, and that kind of plays really into all of this. Ultimately, I am a Marine Corps veteran from 2013 to 2017 I worked as an airwing capacity deployed one time. Yeah, I mean, transition out of the military was very challenging for me. I, you know, fell in love, I had a kid, I got married, I got a divorce, and really the divorce is what forced me to look myself in the mirror for the first time and really come to grips with the individual that I had created. And that kind of kicked off my, I guess, self growth and journey towards self worth ultimately. And so from there, yeah, like you said, and something that we're going to be digging into a little bit here, and it's very near and dear to my heart, is plant medicine, ceremonies and solution based thinking when it comes to some of these topics, and those topics I'm addressing right are everything mental health related, PTSD, which then from there, breaks down into like suicidal thoughts, rage, anger, there's hyper awareness, there's depression, and, you know, it goes on and on, and so I guess, fortunately and unfortunately, I have ran the gambit through a large majority of those things. I've hit rock bottom in a lot of the those topics and areas, and I was able to find a way to fill the hole back in, and some to where I feel I'm standing on a hump now, and from there, I would like to guide others and do anything really in my power to give back. Because I believe a lot of individuals not only leaving the military, but in a day to day lifestyle, you know, they encounter depression, anxiety, fear based thinking, and all these different mental health kind of conditions or the preface to them, right? And eventually them developing into something possibly worse. And I really hated the place I was in. I was ready for a change, and thankfully, I was able to get there through a lot of hard work, working with some pretty great individuals and teachers along the way, all over the world. And now I get to utilize some of my traumas, the darkness, alcoholism, the rage, anger, all of those things, right kind of as a superpower, because it gives me a basis and a foundation to relate to individuals and then work with them from said standpoint, ultimately. And I guess to some sum it all up, as of the last couple of months, I have been working with individuals as a spiritual advisor, doing pretty much some of the work that we're going to be talking about right here, addressing mental health issues. There are some ceremonial possibilities, but don't talk too openly about those. That's more of an email. Ill or personal conversation to have, if deemed necessary. But a large majority of those clients are also veterans, because, again, I believe, and they all say it themselves that it's much easier to relate to an individual that's been through some of these things or has some experience within them, as opposed to maybe going to see a counselor or a therapist, which I am also an advocate for. And I have seen many over the years, if they haven't walked the walk, that they can't necessarily address the problem at hand if they don't have a solution for it, you know. And so because of that, it's given me a little bit of a niche, I suppose, into the veteran community and relating with individuals on that basis. So

Brian Nichols  5:39  
just two things really quick. First, the sales approach that you're talking about here, right? I talk about this when I'm teaching sales teams, you want to talk about the bed bug issues, right, that people are having, namely, like, what is it that's keeping them up up at night? And with that, enter into the conversations that they're already having. And when you do that, you want to lead with value, but you also want to leave with context. And to your point, right? It's so much. I'm going to use the word easier to enter into those conversations with. In this case, your target demographic, which are going to be veterans, who are looking for help in these different areas. Because, to your point, you've walked in their shoes. You've seen things that they have seen, and frankly, that anybody else out there will not be able to put into context, because they themselves did not experience it. So when I am teaching my sales team right, like, if we're going to sell into, let's say credit unions for contact center solutions, we're going to lead with what are the things that contact center leadership at credit unions are talking about, and lead with that in that conversation. Because when you're able to lead with it as somebody who not only knows what they're talking about, but let's say you've been in the world for, in my world, for like, a year or plus, right? You've probably been enough contact center deals that you know the things that they're going to talk about, you know the problems, the pain points that are likely going to be popping up as you're talking to this new prospect, because you've experienced these pain points with other prospects. So that, first of all, I think you're taking an A plus approach, Johnny, but you mentioned something, and I want to maybe just get a little bit more some context here for the audience who aren't as familiar with the pain that vets are experiencing when they go from combat life to civilian life. And that you mentioned, there's a hole, a hole missing. And I think we had Garrett Biss here on the show back a few months ago, he was talking about this, this whole that was missing, and it was really just going from that combat role to civilian role, and just the context therein. It's such a different world. It sounds like, though, that there might be something even more that you're, you're kind of focusing on here, that is actually missing from the person, right, that in this case, the Veteran who is leaving that role into that civilian life. What is it that's missing? What is it that you're trying to help them fill without it being the depression, the alcoholism, the anger, all that stuff.

Johnny Martinez  7:56  
Great question. Thank you for asking that. I love that and so to that, the direct answer for me is helping individuals fall in love with themselves, and ultimately, that comes down to a self worth basis. Over majority of the individuals I've worked with, I think I could confidently say 100% at this point the the foundational trauma trigger whatever you want to label it as it's all kind of the same thing, right? But something that that irks you, makes you emotional, yada yada comes from a place of self worth, or a place from self love, which also falls into self worth, kind of one in the same, right? And so that ultimately, I guess, would be the whole that I am referring to. Now it's, it's very apparent in the veteran community. It's very, very noticeable when you're making those transitions, like you said, from deployment to coming back home. But what, yes, what I believe that hole to be ultimately, is a wound of self worth, and I think that starts to kind of spiral out when you see an individuals, more specifically, in this case, veterans transition out of the military because,

Brian Nichols  9:03  
hey, Johnny, really quick, weird. And this breaks my heart to even ask this question, but where does this lack of self worth and self love come from childhood

Johnny Martinez  9:10  
almost always? And so that brings on a conversation that's, I guess, challenging to have, ultimately, but it's something that I've been kind of bringing to the forefront here recently. And it's that I I am a circumstance where I believe all of my PTSD or damage that had happened to me going into the military had already been done. I think that the military was kind of an advocate, or maybe helped cultivate some of it, because it creates, in essence, a super soldier, right? In my case, a Marine. You want to be default, aggressive. You don't want to have any empathy or compassion. You don't want you know. You want all these things where you take orders, you listen, you follow direction. You don't have any empathy doing it in case, you need to take life right, that way, that you can compartmentalize, you can stifle. Think exactly you can stifle all of your emotions and all of your feelings, but that's where all of your self worth comes from. If you're stifling all the things that you need to live a happy and successful life, and you're not really given any means of transitioning into that space again, or in my particular case, that I made note to that was long gone before I ever entered the military, that's what bright my my success in the Marine Corps was, I was perfect by all circumstances because of kind of the traumas that I had leading into it. Really,

Brian Nichols  10:32  
I don't mean to pry, but could, could

Johnny Martinez  10:33  
you maybe feel free?

Brian Nichols  10:34  
Could you maybe articulate, like, because, because beyond, and you just mentioned something, right this, a lot of these traumas, even though we're talking about the veteran community here, a lot of these traumas started before they were even in the service. So there's a lot of folks listening right now, Johnny, who they're like, I've had a childhood trauma, right? So could maybe just give some more context of like, what that would look like for folks, and ways that you've you've been able to address it.

Johnny Martinez  10:59  
So this is where I start to struggle on verbalizing exactly what I mean in context. And so I'll try my best. But ultimately, what I do when I work with individuals is try and bring them back to the truth within the stories that we create for ourselves. What I mean by that is, through your childhood, you go through a lot of means of programming is kind of the hit term that people like to use, right? You use your programming. And so when you think about it in those terms, pretty much everything that you do is a programming I don't like water on my floor when I get out of the shower, because when I was a child, my mom didn't like that. I clean up, you know, the sink after I do dishes and wipe the water dry, because that's how I was raised, right? Yeah, let

Brian Nichols  11:40  
me interrupt. I just heard this story. Literally, what you're telling it was this girl who it was Thanksgiving time, or no, Christmas time. She's getting ready to cook dinner for the family, and she gets this big, beautiful spiral ham, right? And she brings it over to the dish, and she gets ready to put it in, but she cuts off the end of the ham where the little mob is, and her daughter sees that, and she's like, that's weird. Why are you doing that? So she goes over to her mom. She's like, Mom, we've been cooking this for years. Why are you doing that? I've never understood that. She goes, Oh, well, back when I was growing up, that's what your grandma used to do. Grandma used to cut the end of the ham off and we put it right into the dish. And she goes, Huh? So why did grandma do that? And the mom paused, and she's like, I don't I don't know. So what they do? What they do? Johnny, they call grandma into the the room. She's in the other room. They call grandma, come on in here. We're putting the ham in, and mom's gonna cut the the nub of the ham off. And we realize that we don't know why we're doing this. Why did you used to do it? You know what the answer was? Johnny, back when she was doing back when she was doing the spiral hams, grandma, the baking dish was too small. So what she do? She cut the back of the ham off. So here the daughter was learning you cut the back of the ham off when you put the ham in the oven. But this all started because the grandma didn't have a baking dish that would have fit the fit the Christmas ham. So you hit the nail on the head. Man, there are things that we do that we learn. We don't know why we do them, because that's what mom it did. That's what dad did. And where did Dad learn that? Oh, dad learned that from his dad and from his mom, where they learned that right? And they just, it's this snowball effect,

Johnny Martinez  13:14  
exactly right. That is exactly right. And, you know, we're talking pretty surface level stuff, right hand, Turkey, all this stuff, and having fun with it. But I mean, that goes right as deep as you really want to look at things. Why was I very aggressive and hostile in my in my relationships growing up? Well, unfortunately, that was the relationships that I seen. I never met my father growing up, you know, so I had stepdads kind of in and out of the house, and so, you know, just like all of those things, create different programs. And so in my opinion, or my belief, I think most individuals are programmed through childhood, and then from there, they just carry on their programs. You don't go to the reason of asking great grandma why she cuts the turkey off, right? You just do it, because that's what you do. And nowadays, I feel individuals are starting to want to die on those hills. They don't want to question things. And what I'm starting to do, or what I began doing in this whole process, is question everything that I thought. Because the big question that kept coming up is, who is Johnny like? What am I? What am I actually thinking? You know, I base it off of what I hear, what I'm listening to, podcasts, all these other things, but at the center, I have an opinion, and I have never gave that opinion a voice. And so now I'm starting to listen and tap into your knowing, your truth, your intuition, right?

Brian Nichols  14:38  
Um, by the way, Johnny, what held you back do you think from from figuring out what your voice was,

Johnny Martinez  14:44  
you got, how long we got,

Brian Nichols  14:46  
how much time you got buddy? No, I

Johnny Martinez  14:48  
mean, I think it was like I said, programming, I think overall. So I guess, just to take it way back to the beginning, right, I mentioned I had never met my biological father. We moved to Wisconsin from California when I was about. One year old, so no contact. We have never met. One thing I do kind of have a faint memory of is my grandpa, you know, harmlessly saying he doesn't mean anything. But again, this is the level of programming when you go down to the truth of what is being said, says you're the man of the house. Now, okay, where there goes my childhood? Yep, I don't get a few emotions. I don't get a feel my feelings, because I'm the rock of the house. Now, when my mom's having a hard time, I don't get a cry or pout about it, or when my day is going challenging, right? Those are the programs that I'm referring to. And there's these are things that you just grow complacent with, and then you start to grow comfortable with and because you don't want to question them, want to question them, you end up living this life that is very unfulfilling at some level. But we stop questioning where the answer lies, and all we like to do is kind of focus on again, like you. You may note too in the intro there, or very early on, we're talking about the issues, but no one's really talking about how to fix these things, yep. And so that's where individuals like myself and all of the blessed healers that I have come in contact fall into place

Brian Nichols  16:08  
well, and just elephant in the room for myself, right? I've had a journey not nearly what our vets experience. But, I mean, I've had a weird life, right? Like, I think all of us have had weird lives, and our stories are all weird 100% right? And, like, I think that's partly and, you know what? Let's take a step back for myself. I think what I just articulated is exactly where you probably find a lot of your your clients to start, right is that my story's so messed up. Nobody has an insane story like me. In actuality, everybody's got their own story, and everybody's got messed up families, everybody's got messed up childhoods. Like we've all experienced it in some way, in our own way, right? And I think to your point, it's how we actually deal with it. And this is where I love that you're bringing solutions to the table, Johnny, because, but when I was a kid, I mean, it's just that's the way it was, right? You made it work. And now, as we we've had more and more technology where you can talk to people across the world, and also you start to hear like, Oh, your story halfway across the world sounds kind of like my story. Suddenly, the the weird things I thought I was experiencing that were only unique to me, I realized that I can now talk about this and encourage others to talk about this, because they themselves have experienced something, maybe not the same, but same church, different pew, right? So, and it gives us a chance to actually open up and address these wounds. Like, again, I used to weigh 385 pounds. I was a big boy, right? And that there was a lot of a lot of pain and a lot of like, sadness that came with that young Brian, that sounds there's my rap name, young Brian. No, no, don't. No. Never go to like, Family Guy, call me Bry or something cool. That's There we go. Yeah, be rat. But no, seriously, like, for me, I was, like, I was very self conscious. I still am self conscious, man. I've had a podcast where I've been doing 900 plus shows, and I still, still have to grapple with imposter syndrome. I sit here and I'm like, pardon my language, who the fuck is listening to like little old me? And then I look at my numbers, and I'm like, why are you guys listening to me? I don't check shit. I'm just a random dude, and yet that's been my thing. I've had to deal with I've had to deal with other people like or I've had to deal with the fact I had fact I have horrible imposter syndrome. And I I talk to other people who suffer from imposter syndrome, and guess what, Johnny, it gives me that a chance. When I talk to other people who are like, I don't know what's going on in my life. I just don't feel that I should be the one leading these conversations. I can say, Hey, I know what that is. That's impostor syndrome because I've had it. So I can then help talk to them about how I dealt with it, or bring solutions, like what you're offering. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about the solution. So you you're focusing on herbal remedies. What does that look like, and why is there such a stigma whenever I say herbal remedies, half the audience is like, oh, here we go. So talk to us about that. Yeah.

Johnny Martinez  19:01  
So there's a lot of people that are hit or miss when it comes to plant medicine. I think that's because the media likes to do with media does and blow thing out of proportions and create all of this, these spells for individuals to feed on that like to feed on them, right? Yep, staying consumed and not informed, rather. And so because of that, one thing I would like to say, before we get into any of the plant medicine stuff or any of this talks, is the basis behind the use of plant medicine. And there is no mistaking this is holding a big mirror reflection in front of yourself. It is the best tool to flip inside and go internal and see who the fuck you really are part of my language. No, no, you're

Brian Nichols  19:43  
safe. You're gunning beautiful.

Johnny Martinez  19:47  
But so yeah, I like to make that a note, you know, before we go into this, because you hear all the crazy experiences, the bad trips, the crazy stories where you see God and aliens. And I, I personally. Have had none of those experiences. I've had some pretty extreme ones and some pretty outlandish ones. I've seen others and heard others share that. They have seen aliens and all these things, right? There is a place for those. But even within those, there is a true message. There is something to take within there, if you're willing to look internal yet again. And so

Brian Nichols  20:20  
which, by the way, wow, that's tough, isn't it? It is.

Johnny Martinez  20:23  
It's the it is not for everyone. For a while, I did think it was for everyone. I thought everyone should try an Ayahuasca ceremony or plant medicine. But I guess, loosely put, you can't give people enlightenment or a higher level of awareness if they're not prepared or ready to deal with it, because they introduce a new level of understanding of self that you you just there are ways of going about doing it, and I'm an advocate for those. I help individuals do those. I, on the other hand, was a user of plant medicine ceremonies to kind of open up the door, and that is, is really where the light all came from. For me into this space, was through the use of plant medicine. So I'm a massive advocate. But just to jump back, I guess so, as I had mentioned, I was married, it was starting to kind of fail. And I can confidently sit here and say majority of that was my doing. I was not in a good place at that time and again, that became kind of the catapult in the to the space. But in order to try and, quote, unquote, save my marriage or what was left, I sought out Ayahuasca. It was calling to me for quite some time. And yeah, I made the jump. I had a connection there. And so eventually I went and after I returned from that ceremony, I it opened up these feelings inside of me, Brian, that I can confidently say I've never, ever felt and that they were killed off or taken from me at maybe birth, one year old, two years Old. The programmings for those feelings, yeah, the self worth, the unconditional love for under other individuals, the connectedness that you feel with all individuals, not just in you know, certain groups, right? And the understanding that everything has, and again, I may lose a few people here, right? Is energy and frequency. I believe that I am, that's how we are communicating. You are just a cluster of energy and frequencies, and that's how we interpret all things. And so, by the way, I

Brian Nichols  22:28  
can't agree more, because I'm a pastor's kid, and I used to really so I think I had every pastor kid. I've had every pastor kids path, which is like, you buy that, you buy it, you buy it, buy it, and then you graduate, and you're like, Okay, now I gotta validate this stuff. This is all I heard, right? So I had, like, a little blip of agnosticism, agnosticism, Yep, I've had a blip of that. And then it was almost a rediscovery, right, of of the the ISM in that case, I didn't mean to interrupt, but like, I saw that for myself, was that rediscovery and having to really think about like the things I believe. And with that, you mentioned the idea of frequencies of energy, what we all acknowledge prayer is real, and what if not, prayer is like a manifestation of focused collective consciousness, energy, frequency, whatever you want to call it. I mean, that's what it is. We all acknowledge we're doing it. It just one person says I'm doing it as a Catholic, and the other person saying I'm doing it as a Muslim, and the other person saying I'm doing as a Mormon. It's like we're all saying the same thing. We're just saying it in different ways.

Johnny Martinez  23:36  
Absolutely, I couldn't agree more, and that's something that comes up on the podcast, not not often, but occasionally, because I will admit I I really know nothing, for the most part, about religion. It was nothing that ever really called to me. Just it just never, it never sat, if you will. And so I still to this day, don't necessarily say I'm religious. I will say I'm spiritual, but the essence behind what I'm referring to is what you are saying. I believe in Source energy. Now, if you want to call that God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha, that's the programmer. That's right, I just call it source energy. It's this. It's the source. I don't need to name it. But yeah, so I guess it ultimately, it unlocked a lot of those things. And I will say, the biggest discovery that I got, besides my newfound understanding and love for humanity, something I went home and didn't feel with my wife, which then led determination of the marriage is, is What I'm bringing to you, is vulnerability. I was much like many, many men in today's society. You know, you're closed off. You stifle all emotions. You can't cry. You're a baby. But, you know, it makes you a little girl, right? All these things, you got to be big and strong and tough and want to fight and all these things. And I fell into that for, you know, the first 28 Years of my life at the highest of, like, toxic masculine levels, right? I was doing all of the bad shit, really. And I'm, I admit that often on the podcast, and because I can take a look at that, I was a shitty person growing up. I know I was it was not a good person for a vast majority of my life. But again, the process of alchemy is taking the coal that I had and the lead and transmuting it and transitioning it into gold. And so that is what the process of plant medicine ultimately has done for me. It's given me a new perspective on myself, on connection, on vulnerability, and ultimately what masculinity means to me. It reworked the entire system for me to now where masculinity is not anything that I thought it used to be. Now it is the ability to fight. It is having, you know, the capabilities to defend and protect and do all of those things, right? It's the warrior in the garden. But it's just as much about vulnerability, compassion and empathy connection, because without bringing those things to the table, it does not give the feminine essence in the world the ability to flourish like they are supposed to, therefore creating the cycle of toxic, quote, unquote, toxic masculinity, right? And so I guess that, coupled with what you talked about earlier, relating back to your ins, your your circumstances, to be able to talk to others and realize that all of our stories are very similar at the source, that is the conception of the warrior, healer. Podcast. That's what I do. I have individuals on to share their stories and talk me through as and much depth as you are comfortable. My only promise I make is that I don't do the show if my cup is not full and I do not do the show. Or reword that I don't do the show unless my cup is full and I won't do it unless I am willing to meet you on whatever level of vulnerability that you are willing to meet me at, so that you are comfortable at any level that you are willing to share with me and share with others, because if I can create the space and the container for you to be open enough, others will listen, and if you are not alone in this fight, it gives you a much better chance at fighting through whatever you're going through.

Brian Nichols  27:12  
You know, Johnny, I knew that there's a reason you and I hit it off so well, it's probably my intro. Instead of focusing on winning arguments, we're teaching the basic fundamentals of sales and marketing and marketing and how we can use them to win in the world of politics, teaching you how to meet people where they're at on the issues they care about, right? Meet people where they're at, man, and how impactful I'm sure that's been for you, because now you can take a real solution that you know works, and you can go and talk to people who so desperately need it, and, you know, they need it, right? That's the other thing. Like, I always get so frustrated when I hear people have the allergic reaction to the idea of sales, because in their head, they instantly think of the used car salesman slapping a lemon saying, like, you got to take this off a lot today. This deal is going to go away at the end of the day. That's not a sales guy. That's a snake oil salesman, right? It's, I only want to use the world's salesman that's a sleazebag. A salesperson is someone who understands who you are as a potential customer, the problems you have, the pain points they're going to be able to address with their solution. And guess what? A good salesperson, as many times as they say, I have a perfect solution for you, they also say, Sorry, my solution is not going to be a good fit, and that's okay. And I think as a salesperson, you should be saying that as often as you do, Hey, are you ready to sign at the bottom line? Because if you're not willing or able to acknowledge where your solution isn't going to fit, then, I mean, what are we doing here. You're just you're pushing the prescription. We talked about this recently with our episode with Pete Sep. We were talking about all the different prescriptions we see passed down from governments and so forth, trying to solve the problems they see, without acknowledging that we're not solving anything. We're putting band aids on problems. So what I love about your approach, Johnny, is that you're approaching things not from a band aid solution, but rather a deep solution. Now, let me just take a step back here, and I'm going to make a statement. And if this statement's off base, tell me. But it almost feels even though your podcast is focused on warrior healing, anybody can listen to this and get value right? Because, to your point earlier, these aren't just things that folks who served overseas are gonna face. This is stuff that you faced before you even deployed, or before you even considered joining the armed services. This is stuff that was rooted in you, and you made the statement as far back as when you were one year old, right? So, like, this is something I just feel that there is a lot of there's a lot of folks out there Johnny listening, and not just here on this podcast, but like in in our world today, that not only could really use your your your podcast as something to start better understanding who they are, but the. Solution you're talking about here. Like, it might not be for everybody, but there's a lot of folks that could really help

Johnny Martinez  30:05  
absolutely and thank you for all of that. Yeah, the podcast has been incredible. It's it is bringing individuals on to share their most vulnerable some of them share literally the most vulnerable things that they can think

Brian Nichols  30:20  
of. An example of a story from somebody in the show I

Johnny Martinez  30:23  
can because it's public, so I don't feel bad sharing that, right? It's already out. And so one of the instances, a guy came home from work and he had seen the scene, or got stopped at the scene, at police tape from the the murder scene of his father murdering his mother. Oh my gosh. Or I've had convicted felons sitting in here and talking to me about murder in the gang, I guess, culture of Milwaukee and areas around here, shooting at police officers, going to prison for up to life, and then, by the grace of God, as they say, right, getting back out and now being able to transition and share. You hear about divorce homeschooling. You hear about anger and rage, everyone. That's something everyone can relate to. It comes up very often in particular, I will say, because how do I say? I believe individuals sign a soul contract when they come to this realm, I will say. And I know it's not for everyone, right? But that's how I believe it. I think that you come here with a sole contract, and I believe mine to have some writing in there about addressing rage and anger for other individuals, including myself. I've done a lot, a lot of journeys at this point. You know, we've talked only about one really, but I've done the work at this point to realize that I've died in past lives as a soul on this contract for rage and anger, and I would have died on this contract if I didn't do the work that I did now to address my rage and anger, because it was on a path to burn down the world. I felt nothing for anyone. I took as much as I could for most individuals, and then would leave you stranded. As I said, I was not a good individual, and I can confidently say that, but I can also say very confident that people do change. I am absolutely not that individual. I'm very, very far from I live my life as best I can from a means of love and gratitude for all things and all situations, including the traumas and trigger triggers and tribulations that I experienced, because again, the process of alchemy is the only way to go through it. Can't stifle your emotions or forget the traumas that you had, because they subside within your body, within your essence, and if you don't do the work to deal with them. They will sit there forever. If you're comfortable with that, then that's okay. But if you're not, there are means of getting out of that, and I'm an advocate for that, and we talk about those on the podcast very often.

Brian Nichols  32:52  
Johnny as we wrap things up here today, what would be one thing, one thing, maybe a couple more if you want at least one thing that you would go back to past Johnny and a misconception, or maybe just something you wish you knew, what would that be?

Johnny Martinez  33:08  
How to accept love, how to feel love. I believe I went large majority of my life, even up until fairly recently, it flares up, right? They are still things that are in process, which is why I can work with others on doing them just very, very lightly, right? But I believe it's very hard to love individuals. It's easier to love individuals than it is to love yourself. Again. It goes back to self worth, self love, the main foundational traumas and triggers that I have found to really reside within everyone at some level. And so bringing you back, or bringing me back at any point in my journey, that is one thing that I would have liked to change. Now I'm grateful that it wasn't there, because I learned how to really appreciate it now, because I don't feel I had it for a long time, and I guess real quick, to make note to that that's primarily because of victimhood mentality, which is also a new discovery that I had made within maybe of the last year, that there was love around in my life. My mother still loves me deeply, but up until a year ago, I would have told you that there was no love in my life. I felt nothing. I didn't have love for anyone. I would take the love that I felt and not know what to do with it, and it would make me, you know, squirmish, and I don't want to snuggle or hold hands or any of that shit, because it's weird, you know, all this stuff and so long answer for you, I would have liked to experience love for myself and been open to receive and give of love.

Brian Nichols  34:41  
Johnny, do you have kids?

Johnny Martinez  34:43  
I do? I have a four and a half year old son.

Brian Nichols  34:45  
Did you notice when you had your kid that that helped you find love?

Johnny Martinez  34:53  
He was the biggest Catalyst, and still is the biggest catalyst for change that I continue to work on myself. Off. I say that because, as we briefly may note, too, I was an alcoholic for a substantial amount of my life, about 10 or 11 years, like, close

Brian Nichols  35:09  
to two and a half three. But okay, yeah, so, yeah, close

Johnny Martinez  35:13  
to daily drinking, you know, at a pretty heavy, heavy level, you know, like 3040, beers, like a lot of stuff, really giving her I got a DUI when I was in the military. Right? A lot of different things going on through there, but the main, I guess, transitional moment in my life where I really started to look at myself prior to that divorce, was the birth of my son. And I quit drinking alcohol two and a half weeks before he was born. I've never had a sip since, and so, yeah, my son is everything to me. He is still the biggest mirror that I have, because he is a variation of me, and because they are your children, you tend to take things a little more personal. When it comes to what they're saying or doing or their actions. It's hard to look at them, you know, from the Untethered Soul viewpoint of allowing things to play out as they will, and being an observer rather than they're like attacking me, right? And so again, I'm a little long winded apologies, but yes, my son is incredible, and he welcomed that into my life and many, many other things,

Brian Nichols  36:23  
you have no apologies needed when you're on the Brian Nichols show. The folks who watch the show, they're very familiar with me being very long winded. The context behind my question, Johnny is because it was the birth of my daughter that really, for me, helped me find kind of that North Star, right? So back a number of years ago, I had stopped drinking, and it was, it was one thing I'd been dealing with, dealing with my past traumas, and I had used alcohol to help, much like I'm sure anybody else who's gone through the battles with alcohol, you're trying to numb those pains, right? And I was able to battle and deal with that early 20 or actually mid teens, but I continue to drink. I didn't. I wasn't a binge drinker anymore. I wasn't an alcoholic anymore. I mean, we're all alcoholics forever. But like, I wasn't actively partaking unless I was out with friends and have drinks every now and then and then 2021 hit. I just stopped drinking. I just was like, I don't like this anymore. I haven't had drinks since, but it was the birth of my daughter that for me, because I, I am I, as much as I teach folks to avoid shiny object syndrome, which is new idea. New idea, shiny new thing features benefits, and you just go after whatever the new thing is. I suffer from it like crazy. And for me, with the show, with my businesses, with my day jobs and stuff, I found myself very much overextending and trying to almost overdo and now that I'm I'm very much retrospective. I look back to that, and that was because I still believe I was trying to, in my mind, make up for my imposter syndrome, trying to do more things right, earn more cred. Look at all things I've done. And then the birth of my daughter happened, and I gotta tell you, Johnny, once she was born, all those extra things I thought I need to do, could give two shits about I've dropped so many projects. I've dropped so many clients because it was taking away from my North Star. And in this case, my North Star is my daughter. Like I go home, I see her little head standing she's only 17 months old. I see her little head standing over the window at the front door and like that, just that, just because me butterflies, right? It makes my heart soar when we have the little the little sound machine on, she's sleeping, and all sudden, she wake up in the morning, and you hear daddy like that. For me, is the like, that's it, that's that's my thing. I and the feel that love, you mentioned it, right? The unconditional love from my daughter. Like she has no preconceived notions. She doesn't know what's going on in the world, like she doesn't give a shit because she's she wants to watch the wiggles and play with time with Tom at the Tank Engine, right? That's her priorities and and she views me as everything, and that is pretty cool. So for me, I get it. I kind of found myself trying to fill those voids, to fill the holes we talked about earlier, right, with projects or building credibility. And now I'm like, You know what? I'll do three Shows a week. I got my day job, and I have my side business. That's good. I'm good. I don't need to do 14 million things. You know? I was a people pleaser. I still am. I deal with it all the time. And by the way, this has turned into as much of a therapy session for me on my show is, it is you probably being a guest on the show. Um, but like for me, Johnny, like I look at what you're bringing to the table for value, and the number one thing I see, man, it's not just helping veterans. It's not just bringing a solution like plant medicine. It's that you're opening the door for guys like me, guys like you. Guys who are in the military, guys who are just dealing with some shit, you're giving them a platform, and you're giving them resources to start to try, at the very least take a step back and acknowledge maybe things aren't right in my life. As a matter of fact, I know things aren't right in my life, and now I can start to at least acknowledge it and understand it, not necessarily solve it right away, right that comes down the road, but to actually grasp what's going on and to find the things you need, find the unconditional love, to find your self worth, things I've had to struggle with too. Like, when you're 385, pounds, let me tell you what your self worth, and I still have the scars, right? Like here, let's get super real. I am super self conscious. I'll never take my shirt off because I have excess skin. Like you'll never believe I had excess skin surgery in 2011 trying to remove a lot of it. I almost died because I had so much excess bleeding from the surgery. It was horrible. I had infections and stuff because I had eight pounds of excess skin removed from my stomach, and then that, like, once all those negative things happened, I couldn't do anything else. They were like, We're not touching you no more. But for me, that was like, Will I ever be normal, right? And how fucked up of a mindset that is, Will I ever be normal, right? And I I've done that, I've seen that, and I'm saying this all to 10s of 1000s of folks out there in the audience who've been listening to me for like, seven years, eight years, and I've never shared this stuff, Johnny, but like, this is the stuff. Yeah, yeah. Well, and thank you, right? Because I, I lead this show, and I again, imposter syndrome. Like, I used to think sharing those things would make me really like, I don't know. I used to think it would take away from the Brian Nichols experience, right? But in reality, is your self worth fucking a dude and and I found myself nowadays like, I've become even more authentic, and it's made me feel better talking to folks like, I'm in a sobriety group for dudes on Facebook, and just seeing the guys come in who are like, I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm going through day three of withdrawals. Can I make it? I'm like, Dude, you got this? And just like for me to see that, because I was able to talk about this shit, now I can help other people. Jesus, no, I appreciate it.

Johnny Martinez  42:20  
Thank you for coming with vulnerability. Man, I appreciate that. And what I will say, or what I'm picking up on, is you haven't fully forgiven yourself, nope, and it's going to take a lot of time, but again, and I guess, to make note to a little bit of what you were saying, what I do initially with clients or individuals, is exactly what you said, is, if you're kind of right, you're at the point where you're noticing that things aren't necessarily going entirely right, but they're not maybe totally wrong, but they're uncomfortable right? You're you're starting to question what you're doing in your actions and why you act the way that you do. From there, that's kind of where, I guess the entry into where I work with individuals is from that point, and I'll keep it fairly brief here, but it's weeks or months of building awareness of self. And so I will share with the guests here what I like to do with individuals, and that is, if you envision like a boat, right? And it's made all out of entire wood. It's a wooden ship. What we are doing is your ship has finally crashed onto my island, and you want to take it out, but you can't, because you know it's all messed up. There's something wrong with it, but you don't know where the boards are cracked or broken or rotted out. So what I'm doing is walking around with a flashlight and all of your nooks and crannies, and we're going to figure out where those boards are broken, where you lost self worth, who took something from you, because no one can actually take anything from you. So we'll address the truth within that right. And you navigate all of these nooks and crannies until you have a big picture awareness of who I am and why I'm this way. And by

Brian Nichols  43:58  
the way, really quick, I mean, interrupt your own process, but like, I love that you didn't, you didn't say and we're gonna show you whose fault it is. Right? Always self exact, and I love that right because, and by the way, I went to therapy, and I've gone to two different therapists, the first therapist I quit after two days because they were trying to make me hate members of my family. And I'm like, Nope, that's not why I'm here. I have reasons to hate members of my family, I need your help. But, like, it was a matter of like, Hey, let's go to somebody who's actually going to help me uncover my issues and deal with my issues without pointing it to somebody else, right? And you, you said it earlier with the Plant Therapy, it's, it's the mirror, right? It's giving you the best mirror you'll ever use. It's gonna be super uncomfortable, but it's going to give you the best perspective of the solutions

Johnny Martinez  44:43  
it is. And I will say, I guess, just to run with that thought a little bit further than what we did prior, is that if you are considering plant medicine or plant ceremonies, obviously, I'm an advocate, feel free to reach out. I'm sure there'll be links and stuff in there. Otherwise, I'll let you guys know at the end of that. Episode here, how to get in touch with me, but if you are going to be pursuing this route, as we've made note to a few times now, it is one of the best mirrors I've ever seen. It is the highest level of self reflection, and it is going to open up doors and shed light on things that you maybe aren't comfortable looking at. You don't get to dictate what gets shown to you. You're along for that ride, and so you have to be okay with the unknown. Now, there will be anxiety and all these other things that come with the unknown naturally, right? But if you can go in there with an open mind, a safe perspective on all I'm doing is addressing myself. You know, there's nothing to be fearful of there. Now, it can be scary if you want to put yourself in that place, but it doesn't have to be. But understand that it's going to open up some curtains, and if you go do it once, I'm an advocate for it, but it does open up those curtains, and sometimes it's hard to close some things. You may not be able to close yourself off anymore to those and in turn, it creates what I like to call the boomerang effect post ceremonies. And so you're looking like a month to two or three months out. Medicine kind of wears entirely off. You get that snap back to reality. You might get in your first argument with your wife or spouse, or whatever. That's where you need to start kind of working those things right. But I just wanted to make note to that real quick, is that, you know, there are a lot of individuals listening to this. I know plant medicine has been a hit topic for years now at this point, with Rogan and like Aaron Rodgers, all these guys, Aubrey Marcus and stuff. And I get it, I get the hype, but it's not all fun and games. It did bring on some of the most challenging things I've ever navigated in my entire life, it put me to the lowest place I'd ever been in my entire life at one point as well. Now for the greater good, absolutely,

Brian Nichols  46:52  
Johnny, this has been one of my favorite conversations I had here on the show, namely, because you turned into my therapist for about 15 minutes there. So apologies to the audience, by the way, for my my just monolog just felt like I broke the fourth wall. When you're on stage and you start talking to the audience, I feel like I was doing that for a little bit, but in the best of ways, by the way, right? Because so we talk about elephant in the room sales here on the show, elephant in the room requires us to also be elephant in the room, right? Acknowledge our strengths, but as much as our strengths, our weaknesses and where we want to get better. And this is an area I've been constantly battling to get better. I mean, the number of books I've read trying to get better, things to deal with and like it's a never ending journey. I think that's the other part we really want to take away from today's conversation. So I said a lot today. So I'm just going to defer my final thoughts to go rewind 10 minutes and listen to my rants and raves. If you want to really just dig into internalize what we talked about. I think that's really important. But Johnny, where do you want to leave the audience today? What are some I mean, guess words of advice, where to start all that fun stuff?

Johnny Martinez  47:58  
Oh, that's a big question. I will say where to start is, if you I learned that you have to start to question things. And I mean, like everything. And now I'm not saying I'm a flat earther or anything like that, but if you want to jump off that cliff, right, you want to run down that rabbit hole, I'll say I'm not married to the globe.

Brian Nichols  48:19  
My man, I sell, I sell a shirt that literally says, question everything, so the audience is familiar with

Johnny Martinez  48:23  
this. Okay, perfect. Yes. So I am an advocate for questioning everything, because I don't believe in all of it. I think that we have been lied to on many, many levels. And when you have the perspectives, or I guess you've seen some of the things I've uncovered, right, once you see it and see it right, exactly. And so, yeah, I would say, start trying to build a level of awareness. And what that means is really looking at yourself in the mirror, and it's not going to be pretty. It's going to be really, really fucking hard to a lot of the people that I do work with. It's very, very challenging, because the individuals that we tend to create are lack entirely, or very close to shut off entirely from emotion and feeling, those are two of the most powerful things that exist in this world. And so welcoming that back in is profound, but it is a very, very dramatic change in life, and it does rock the boat a little. It does make things a little shaky. And so I would say, question everything, have an understanding of self, or build an understanding of self and have the courage and the bravery to reach out to individuals that can help guide you on this path, because you're not alone. And I know everyone likes say that, and that's the suicide hotline all this stuff. You're not alone, but I'm so I cannot mean it from any more depths of my heart. I mean it to my core. You are not alone in this. I would love to work or talk, or if anyone needs a friend, feel free to reach out. I'm open, but you're not alone in this. And if you think that you are, you can pop over to my podcast. It may not cover exactly what you're going through, but there's 70 episodes of people sharing the most vulnerable things that they've ever encountered. You're not going to feel too alone after that, and you're going to start. To realize that if somebody can, you know, overcome some of these amazing adversities, and I say that with positive, you know, affirmations to it, then you can navigate these things that are happening to you as well, and that we don't need to be victim to. We can be grateful for the situation, but you have to start to learn the perspective of gratitude. And that's not always. That's not learned through childhood. Oftentimes, that's something that needs to be kind of interjected into your life, but only when you're at a means that's ready to really accept that, right? So that's where I say start question everything. And you got to start wondering, what, what programs are you running that you'd no longer like to run. I will say really, real, real, real quick. Here is that, you know, some of the programs, I don't want to go on too long of a tangent, ultimately, the programs that you're running and bed themselves into your being for a reason. So I say I dealt with rage and anger from a very young age. One of the earliest memories I can ever really attain is anger and rage all the way through childhood, ultimately. And so because of that, my program is anger and rage. Johnny's angry because of this, this equals this, right? It's the program that I am creating and that I am choosing to continue to run, but at one point or a few different points in my life, it has saved my life. I have fought people, and I have saved my own life in these fights. I you know, have the ability to protect and secure the things that mean the world to me, ie my family, my son, my beloved, all of these things, right? And so just because the program embedded it and it's something that may be negative, now, it doesn't mean it was always a bad thing. The program instills itself because of a reason. In the beginning, it doesn't always have to be bad, right? So I didn't want to feel emotions or feelings growing up, because there wasn't a safe place for me to do that now that helped me up to a certain point, because that was my safety. I don't need that anymore in my life. I'm a 31 year old man with a kid and a spouse, you know, and a house and a job and all these things. I don't need to not have emotion. I need to really feel compassion and empathetic to what's going on in my household, so I choose to reverse that program or address the program. I say, thank you to my anger and to my rage. I don't say I need to get rid of you and fuck you. You ruined my life. I say, thank you, because you did save my life in numerous parts. I needed you to survive childhood at times, it's gotten me to a certain level, but you no longer can interject yourself and your energy into my life whenever you please. You need to run yourself through my right the brain to heart connection is what I like to refer to, ultimately. But just to make a quick note on that,

Brian Nichols  52:54  
no, the Johnny, this has been great. I think if we have one main takeaway the entire show, ask why your mom is cutting off the back end of the ham, right? Yes, sir. There you go. Just, just ask the question, why? And then she's gonna have to start asking some questions. And then you know what? You just might end up on that phone call with grandma, or she might just walk into the room and say, Oh yeah, it's because our dish wasn't big enough to hold the Christmas ham. Johnny, this has been a great conversation, folks. If you got some value from today's conversation, I need you to do me a favor. Please go ahead and give it a share. When you do, please tag yours truly at B Nichols liberty, and then I want you to jump right over to Johnny's podcast. Get given us a subscribe. I can say that I promised Johnny. Where can folks go ahead and find the show. Is it on YouTube? Is it on rumble? Is it just any RSS feed? Was it look

Johnny Martinez  53:39  
like Yeah. So I have it on Apple and Spotify, primarily, it's on all the other little random ones, you know, iHeart and stuff. But that is yes, the warrior healer podcast. If anyone is interested in working together, or would like to ask any sort of questions, you can email at warriorhealer podcast@gmail.com there's an Instagram. Feel free to add that if you would like. And then my personal Instagram is Johnny Jiu Jitsu, with periods as the spacing. So yeah, I'm I'm always open and available. I love this stuff. It's very near and dear to my heart. I'm very passionate about it. And if I'm able to help anyone on their path, I would love to

Brian Nichols  54:16  
hear the man, John. It has been a great conversation again. I'm kind of like, I'm going home now, and I'm just like, whoo. She's got just been to a therapy session. But in the best of ways, I really hope the audience gets some value. I know they are. I'm just, I'm hoping that they will take this and act on it right. Like, this is one of those episodes, folks, I don't want you just to listen to and then go on to the next episode. Like, go listen to the Dallas Cowboys podcast, like I do, and I get sad, but Go, go, like go. Actually do something with this. Ask questions, question everything. Get yourself the biggest mirror you possibly can. Look deep and figure out what is it that you need, what's missing, right? And if you need help finding that, Johnny's your guy. With that being said, we're gonna go ahead and put a pin in today's com. Conversation. I have a feeling Johnny is going to be part one of a maybe a longer part conversation down the road, because there's a lot of meat here on the bone. We left for the conversation today. And heck, if you're ever looking for a guest, I got lots of war stories, not from overseas, just from my yesteryear life. I'm happy to share with you on your show. So please feel free to give me a shout there. But man, this has been a great conversation. Thank

Johnny Martinez  55:20  
you, absolutely. Thank you. And again, thank you for having me on. Thank you for bringing some level of vulnerability, and I'm very grateful for this opportunity. Thank you so much. We'll be in touch.

Brian Nichols  55:29  
Oh for sure. All right, guys, we'll go ahead wrap things up right there with that being said, Brian Nichols, signing off here on the Brian Nichols show. We'll see you next time you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai