848: How to Overcome Trauma - The Impact of Historical Trauma on Modern Life

Brian Nichols  0:21  
Instead of focusing on winning arguments, we're teaching the basic fundamentals of sales and marketing and how we can use them to win in the world of politics teaching you how to meet people where they're at on the issues they care about. Welcome to The Brian Nichols Show. Well, hey there folks, Brian angle here on The Brian Nichols Show. And thank you for joining us on a fourth Linux fun filled episode. I am as always your humble host joining us from our cardio miracles Studios here in lovely Eastern Indiana. The Brian Nichols Show is powered by our friends over at amp America. If you want all the news you need without the corporate media bias or fluff, head over to amp america.com. Also, The Brian Nichols Show is powered by our phenomenal studio sponsor, and that is cardio miracle. Now, folks, for those of you who have been listening to the show for a while, you've heard over the past year I've been touting cardio miracle, because frankly, I'm just blown away. I was a little skeptical. We had John Hewlett, CEO of cardio miracle here on the show back in March of 2023. He's talking about this brand new supplement, he created cardio miracle, it's got a secret ingredient called nitric oxide that help win the Nobel Prize back in the 90s. It's supposed to help with improving your overall overall heart heart health, is it 10 times fast. But for me, I was a little skeptical. But also definitely, you know, my interest was piqued because for yours truly, I have a history of family cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, high heart rates, all that fun stuff. So I said heck, we'll go ahead and give this a shot. And folks, I was floored two months, that's all it took my blood pressure dropped 20 points across the board, my heart rate went down 15 beats per minute. So I'm just floored at seeing the results I got but then the part that blew me away the response from the audience here at The Brian Nichols Show, hundreds of you guys out there in the audience have jumped on board, the cardio miracle bandwagon for yourselves, and I'm hearing the difference that you guys are seeing better sleep, lower blood pressure, better pump at the gym, lower heart rates, I love it. So I'm blown away. And for those of you who are joining us here on the show for the first time, or you've been sitting on the fence, you're not quite sure is cardio miracle right for me. Well, now's the perfect time because number one, you're gonna get 15% off your order of use code TBNS at checkout, also, you have nothing to lose because there's a 100% money back guarantee. So if cardio miracle doesn't do what I say it does, or what the hundreds of folks in the audience are saying it does or the 10s of 1000s of folks out there who have seen the cardio miracle difference for themselves, you have nothing to lose again that 100% money back guarantee, but in my experience, you don't need to worry about that. Go ahead, jump on board the cardio miracle train, I guarantee your heart will thank you one more time cardio miracle, the best heart health supplement in the world link in the show notes or video description. Alright, folks, let's talk about our society where we are today not just as a society, but how the heck we got here. And frankly, what are the roles that gender played as you're looking to where people have gone to where they are heading to where they've gotten to today? What's the starting off point, all that and more plus, being able to uncover the behind the scenes that gets us to those different areas talking about all that and more and her brand new book joining us today, here in The Brian Nichols Show, Alicia Deva, welcome to The Brian Nichols Show. How you doing?

Elisha Daeva  3:39  
Thanks, Brian. Great. Thanks for having me.

Brian Nichols  3:42  
Great to have you on the show. Alicia, thanks for obviously, talking about all things as we dig into, you know, gender discussions for today's show, and, and frankly, digging into your brand new book that you just had come out here. But before we get that, and I'm obviously putting the cart before the horse, do us a favor, introduce yourself your The Brian Nichols Show audience and why is this a topic that you found to be something that you're passionate about and want you to focus on?

Elisha Daeva  4:06  
Thanks. So brief background. My background is in neuroscience. I worked in the field of neuroscience for five years, and became disillusioned with science and the politics and science and the dead end path I saw neuroscience being on but I remained so I dropped out of science and became a computer programmer during the.com era and made a bunch of money and sort of retired and built a homestead and retreat center. And now I can devote myself to my real passion, which is writing books and doing research about my big mission in life, which is this topic of European origins and the origins of social inequality. Which it's, I'm passionate about it because I feel like there's no more important message than we can have to know our true history. theory, because if we know that we live for long stretches of time, without war, without widespread violence, without some people having much more than others, that we could maybe one day, get back to it and do it again, if we understand what the origins of that are, and what the dynamics of that are, so we can heal from it as a culture and also individually. So

Brian Nichols  5:24  
one of the first I'm sure questions you get asked, and frankly, is his objections I hear, especially when you're looking at the way that society has advanced. So I'm guessing you've heard this yourself, Alicia. But look at your original critique here, you're going back to a world where there wasn't such a disparity. There wasn't such inequality. But let me let me teach you here this question, Alicia. So let's look at where that you know, that was in the past, yes, there may have been less of a difference between genders, between classes, whatever it may be. But when you fast forward to today, even though that discrepancy might be a larger gap, the starting out point for the base level has infinitely increase. I think we just talked about this in a show a couple a couple days ago, actually, where if you were to ask your average person would you rather be a somebody in poverty today or someone in royalty 500 years ago, everybody, oh, royalty, 500 years ago, without acknowledging the fact that you didn't have the basics of today, you know, like a smartphone or your basic plumbing or electricity. So help, I guess us understand for the folks especially, maybe are a little on the fence here, like what's, what's the actual area, you're looking to bring things together or areas you're trying to, I guess, limit the gap between different classes or a different demographics or socio economic factors?

Elisha Daeva  6:44  
Well, the last time that there was widespread equality was in the Neolithic time. So it ended at around 3500 BC. And not everybody wants to go back to that, although the pinnacle of civilization, that was sort of pre Dominator culture where the Minoans and they did have flushing toilets, and heated water pipes, and beautiful art, very advanced forms of metallurgy and pottery. And so it was, it was a very advanced culture, they weren't, they weren't, you know, living in poverty. And compared to the other Bronze Age cultures at the time, nobody was in a slum, nobody was living in extreme poverty, there was no war between different city states. And so I don't, I'm not suggesting that we go back to the Stone Age or to the Neolithic. I believe that we can have smartphones and a higher level of satisfaction with society. And for me, that comes down to healing trauma, because all the evidence points to this being a trauma based society, basically, that goes back to the original trauma that started at all starting around 4000 BC, which was an extreme climate change event, where the desert from North Africa through the Middle East into Central Asia desertified extremely rapidly. And that seemed to have led to a trauma response, which then got spread around the world with those original people, the Indo Europeans being the main group, who then spread that culture, a trauma based type of inequality, and violence. And now, we all speak indo European languages because of that, and not that they were bad people, they were just traumatized. And that culture, they domesticated the horse, which enabled them to spread it around the world. And so it's, I feel like it's, it's interesting to know our origins, because as as Europeans, we are all descended from those original indo European horse nomads on our father's side. And the original people of Southern and Eastern Europe, the Mediterranean people on our mother's side, who are the inventors of culture, and the Indo Europeans replaced the male genome in completely replaced it with indo European genes, and eliminated 90% of the male genetic diversity in a very short period. So I feel like it's just interesting from a perspective of where we came from and how we got here. And then it was really just one culture that spread around the world, and not our kind of core human nature, man,

Brian Nichols  9:44  
and all it took was climate change. I guess we just need AOC back then to get a green New Deal. No, I tease but let's talk about trauma because we hear the context of trauma brought up in our contemporary discourse, especially and I would say that the more progressive leaning politics, you go back to the Summer of Love during 2020. The idea of a trauma based society, particularly as we're talking about the Black Lives Matter movements that were taking over the United States. I mean, that was an underlying theme. Now fast forward to 2024, we see another underlying theme of trauma being discussed as it pertains to the Israel and Hamas conflict in the Gaza Strip. So this idea of trauma does seem to perpetuate not just in terms of the past, but in terms of where we are in the future. But let me let me push back a little bit here, Alicia, this is just a genuine curiosity of my pushback. But it just I feel like I'm channeling my inner Dwight Schrute. Here, Michael isn't depressed, just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? But like, Isn't trauma, we all have experienced trauma, right, like trauma just seems like, and I'm not saying this, what you're saying. But the impression comes across to your average person, that Yeah, we all have, we all have trauma. It's the people who use trauma to excuse away bad behavior, right. So seeing people use the I have historical trauma, whatever it may be, to justify committing violent actions on people today, not even considering that those violent actions are in turn causing trauma for that person and their future generations. So help, I guess, paint the picture, if I'm speaking about trauma incorrectly, of where trauma actually does impact, I guess, like real genetic stuff, versus just the idea that we all have faced trauma. And now you're just using as an excuse to be a bad person.

Elisha Daeva  11:35  
I completely agree. And I see we see that not only on a collective level, like you're speaking of in terms of wars, and genocides, but also on an individual level, we're right now we're seeing a lot of kind of very damaged individuals use their trauma as an excuse to gain power over others, through canceling them or attacking them or shaming them, and this kind of cult of the victim. And so I really believe that it's incumbent upon every person to heal their personal trauma, and as a collective to heal our collective trauma. And it starts by understanding what that is understanding our past how we got here. Like I was saying about this replacement of the male genome, like what really happened, and the first colonizations and just this violence that gets like you said, perpetuated generation after generation, because hurt people hurt people. And so the method that I came up with, is about going into trance, a deep, a deep Delta, brainwave state, through rhythm and breath. So finding a state of trance, a kind of a self hypnosis that you can get into a higher brain state that you try sort of transcend your circumstances and your ego. And then you can shake off that trauma and approach your problems and find creative solutions from a different state of consciousness.

Brian Nichols  13:08  
So looking at trauma, and I guess, going you have a brand new book, by the way, while being in captivity on tribal trauma in Tantra. So here it is, look at that. And like you were ready for en que Alicia, I love it. So let's talk about this book, right, because this isn't just a book about trauma in general, this is actually a personal story that you're sharing with the audience, about your specific trauma and your being able to not just understand that trauma, but also deal with said trauma. So help paint the picture there. What was the genesis for this book, you obviously had another book before this called before war. So just going from where you started with that book to now digging into trauma through your own perspective and own lens.

Elisha Daeva  13:53  
So 10 years ago, my ex left me we'd been together for 10 years, we moved from California to North Carolina, and built this crazily ambitious, artistic temple of house that was going to be our forever house. And then in the process, over five years of constant construction, and constant work, we lost our desire for each other. We still loved each other. We still talked all the time, enjoyed each other's company, but we were like brother and sister. And I turned to trot to Tantra, the ancient Indian spiritual science of sexuality for answers to how we could get our sexual spark back. And it turns out that this is a very common problem for a lot of relationships after after many years. So I went to Thailand and I went deep into Tantra. So this book is kind of like my Eat, Pray, Love of Tantra, that very popular book about the end of a relation ship. And when I was there, my partner met somebody else and fell in love with her and left me for her, which meant that I couldn't manage my water system alone, I couldn't manage all these off grid technical systems that we've done, I couldn't make water flow, I was completely devastated. And I ended up going to a Tantra festival in Spain, and then just without a plan, traveling around the world for seven months, going to many different countries, and having a sexual awakening, and doing lots of research into how we how we might understand this failure of sexual desire and relationships from the perspective of biology because that's my original background is in neurobiology, and how we might possibly keep relationships alive from the perspective of spirituality and Tantra.

Brian Nichols  15:56  
So what what does that look? Geez, not just me, come on, there we go. Sorry, for the audio listener, I just my big mug him on the screen. So let's talk about that. Because if you're going into relationships, and by the way, this is a real conversation that people are having right now, right? Like we're looking at where society is in terms of our ability to engage in relationships and have long lasting relationships built on something more than just the the, the physical, right? And this kind of goes to this Tinder generation, it's where everybody's a swipe, left, swipe, right. You know, it's all for sexual gratification. But in going back to our late, great friend, Gary Collins, he talked about his his three legged stool. And you know, that's for his approach to life, you have to have your sense of purpose, your finances and your personal health in order. I'm guessing, Alicia, there is a three legged stool of sorts, right? For not just relationships, but but also for that personal fulfillment. What would you say if you had to give that three legged stool? When you're trying to build a relationship beyond just the sexual? What are the other areas that often get missed, misplaced or forgotten, or completely just tossed out altogether?

Elisha Daeva  17:06  
Well, I think we all need to maintain our personal passions, like there's a tendency in relationship to kind of put ourselves aside and our own identities aside and merge with the other. And I think that does kind of allow us to lose ourselves to a certain degree. And also, I think that we put a little bit too much pressure on romantic relationships. Like if you expect your partner to be your gym, Coach, your therapist, your best friend, your only real friend, and you know, your your sex partner, and everything, that's a little bit too much. There needs to be a little

Brian Nichols  17:47  
by the way, how much of that is perpetuated by contemporary culture, like creating the perception, I mean, goodness, think of all the love stories out there, like, this means by perfect dream, like He's everything. That's not real, though that's written for a story. That's not real life. That's

Elisha Daeva  18:04  
a fairy tale that we've been taught, especially as girls growing up watching the movies and happily ever after, and the fairy tales. And that's really unrealistic. Oh, goodness, part of why that's okay. In my book, I go over the stages of the common stages of a relationship, and how those are mediated by different neurotransmitters. And maybe what our evolutionary past is to understand that if if, if there's a failure of desire, it's not our fault. I feel like people feel like if we don't talk about it, maybe it won't happen. Or if we try real hard if we buy lingerie or go to therapy, we can make it work. But the truth is, this system of lifelong monogamy is not really natural to our species, or really any species. And so that leaves us with trying to be realistic. And so my message is, be realistic. Keep it alive through tantric techniques. And by retaining a certain amount of mystery and separation. Don't do too many mundane tasks together, like build a house. And if it fails, and then have a sort of a prenup, while you're still getting along for what you're going to do with the common property, how you're going to co parent and really make a commitment to co parenting first and foremost, rather than trying to mix together because that your your commitment to your children is for life, your your sex may not last for a lifetime. And you maybe you could so I discussed kind of polyamory and the pitfalls there and the possibilities there. Really understanding what do we have in common? What keeps us together? And and Or do We just is it really time to move on to somebody else? Or how do we commit to the relationship and make it work? If we really feel that it's our It's our destiny to work together for for longer? Alicia,

Brian Nichols  20:12  
do you get any pushback from the religious community at all on this perspective?

Elisha Daeva  20:17  
Um, to be honest, I haven't really gone out to that community so far, I would like to, although it's a little bit hard to approach, I'm really into building bridges, like the message of my book is to build a bridge between men and women, because this system of inequality, and oppression is oppressive to everybody, you know, men and women, and both men and women, and everybody upholds it and perpetuates it, because it's a system that we're indoctrinated into, just like any kind of culture that we're indoctrinated into. And so it's a little bit hard to approach the religious argument, because it's not really based in in evidence.

Brian Nichols  21:07  
And let me I'm not necessarily pushing back, but more. So I do hear though, like, from a religious standpoint, the argument of that the bond between a husband and a wife for you just named the two partners, right, that that is that yeah, that's that's just love. That's God's covenant. Right. And then with that, your children, I mean, you you mentioned an important focus in the children, but in a religious connotation. I mean, that is one of the main areas why you would want to have a monogamous relationship is to create a better environment for that child having the the husband and the wife dynamic. So I guess with that, how do you how would you maybe see a world where even if it wasn't overtly, like religious folks, but people who have grown up in a religious sized society, what's the sales pitch to them? And what are some objections that you frequently get.

Elisha Daeva  21:55  
So in in before war, I talked about the system that was in place before nuclear families and father had had families, which was known as matrilineal cultures. It was the grandmother, the mother, the mother's sisters, and the mother's brother was the main male in in the children's lives. So he played the uncle played the role of father. And these cultures which have survived to the modern day, there are still hundreds of them, mostly living in very remote areas where they haven't been sort of assimilated into the dominant culture. It's an extremely stable situation, because it's not based on sexual desire. So I really believe it takes a village to raise a child. And that requires a sort of a an entire sea change of how we see relationships. And to be honest, it's not really compatible with the sort of father headed God headed family. But we have to be realistic about the fact that that hasn't really worked for most people. But if that's what you want, if that's what you're choosing, you can have that you just might need to know that you're going to sacrifice a lot of your own pleasure and also health. Because as, as we've seen in in, in some of the research in the book, sex at dawn, sacrificing vital sexuality can can lead to poor health. So I'm not sure if I have a good pitch to the religious community. Except that, you know, it depends on what you're choosing. If you're choosing God in the Bible. I don't really, that's that's coming from a different perspective. And, I mean, you can choose that over your own happiness. And maybe if you're not a happy couple, your children are probably not going to be happy. So that's, that's how I see it. All

Brian Nichols  23:58  
right, Alicia, unfortunately, we are already hard pressed for time, which means we're going towards our final thoughts segment. Um, I would love it. If you could do us a favor, just number one, make sure people know where they can go ahead and catch your new book. But number two, just paint the picture for the audience today, you know, wrap the episode up with a nice bow. What would you like the audience to take away from today's episode, both folks who are saying this sounds interesting, or the folks saying this sounds crazy. What are your does, I guess your thoughts to both of those different respective respective reactions there?

Elisha Daeva  24:31  
Um, anytime that we question our past and how we got here, and the whole structure of our society, it's going to sound crazy, but the evidence is all there. I mean, before war, I think is is a fascinating book, because it takes into account linguistics, genetics, anthropology and archeology to tell a different story about the human past the story In which there was more cooperation than competition. There wasn't widespread violence, very stable family structure. And these weren't primitive communities. These were, you could say civilizations with writing, pottery, metalwork, large settlements of up to 50,000 people. I believe that knowing the truth about our past can inform our present and we can all make different decisions about it. And all decisions are valid. I respect everybody's decisions about their lives. But I advocate for choices knowing the truth.

Brian Nichols  25:40  
Wild Thing in captivity on travel trauma and tantra book is available over on Amazon, we will include that link in the show notes, folks, this is a conversation that we know we talk about, educate, enlighten, and inform here on The Brian Nichols Show. This is an educate conversation. And frankly, I think it dips the toe into enlightened because you need to be able to have conversations that do enlighten folks different perspectives, but also when those perspectives sound completely alien, especially based on the starting off point of the person you're talking to. You have to help educate you have to help inform. So that's where I hope today's episode will be a tool for you in the audience to do educate, enlighten and inform and if so, well, I want to hear if you had some success, please go ahead share today's episode and when you do tag yours truly at be Nichols liberty, you can find me on Instagram x.com, as well as over on Facebook, Alicia, where can folks go ahead support you find you continue the conversation over on the social medias and more.

Elisha Daeva  26:41  
So my website is before war.com. And there's links to different interviews I've done and to my books. And I just produced my first audio book for wild thing in captivity, I'm pretty excited because um, I haven't done that before. And so now you can listen to that on Audible. And, and then find my Facebook page where I post new things about these topics of ancient civilizations and relationships and the manosphere and have discussions there. Thank you so much. You

Brian Nichols  27:15  
got it, Alicia, thank you for joining the show. And folks, please if you enjoy the episode beyond giving a share, please go ahead and just let more people know where they can find a show for the podcast version, your favorite podcast catcher Apple podcast, Spotify, YouTube music, or if you want to catch up on the videos, YouTube, Rumble x.com. Facebook, we're uploading the video versions of the show in their entirety is here's I'm gonna ask for you though. If you are watching or listening number one, hit that subscribe button right that helps us reach you. Anytime we have a new show come out which is three times a week. Also, make sure you hit that little like button if you're watching the video version of the show and of course down below into the comments. Let us know your thoughts. You're both pro and con. We want to hear your thoughts and obviously want to hear the conversation and debate continue. But also for folks on the the audio version of the show the podcast we have over 850 episodes here of The Brian Nichols Show in its entirety. So as I said probably two or three episodes ago, YouTube's a little Lately, they've been nuking some episodes left and right. So we made a hard decision. We actually removed some of our episodes from YouTube understanding that, hey, we still want to reach people. We got to have YouTube as a platform. So we're going to remove the stuff that they're like, Oh, this is bad, but we still got the stuff out there. It's in the archives Brian Nichols show.com. Or if you go to your favorite podcast catcher that we can find all 850 episodes of the show hit download on Play that will actually bring them right over to your podcast catcher started episode one get to Episode 150. I'll see you in like six years, I guess when you get through all those others and that's all we have for you today. With that being said Brian Nichols signing off. You're on The Brian Nichols Show for Alicia Deva. We'll see you next time. Bye

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